I'm Baaaaaack!

Wow I haven't posted since my birthday... the day I decided to become celibate. It has been 111 days since I made this decision.It was based on wanting to focus on school and change my romantic life. Of course God has a plan and a sense of humor and placed this wonderful man in my life.He respects my celery diet(insider) and is willing to wait. So what's the issue??? Now I'm tempted not to wait and let go of my original goal of 1 year. It is believed that the first 6 months are the hardest after that it's a breeze. Wish I met him later...

If he wasn't so awesome I would drop him as a threat but he's like the greatest guy I have ever dated. D is everything I look for in a man mentally. Not my usual physically but he is sexy in his own petite way(insider hehe)... I'm pacing myself and taking it one day at a time. I am determined to complete my vow, just worried about the temptation. We're so connected it's scary. I sometimes feel like I'm dating again too soon. I'm worried about making the same mistakes with D as I did with A. I can't afford the time or mental capacity to which was dedicated to A. I can't allow my happiness to rely on a man again. It's not healthy at all. D makes me want to be better and bring him along with me. I already think about the future. I don't want to deal with that right now, 2 months haven't even passed. I'll admit he's different from any man I've dated EVER and I've never felt like this BUT is it worth losing control, focus and me???

This is a dangerous road to me. One never traveled but the one I've always been warned about.

We'll see how it unfolds... till next time *smooches*

The BEST Day of the Year...

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

Yay!!!!! I am officially 27 years old... DAMN! I'm gracefully aging and my MOMS biological clock is ticking lol. She ready to be a grandma ya'll... what am I going to do lol. Going to Atl for my brothers graduation from MOREHOUSE! I'm so proud of him!!!! Well I'll holla on monday if I'm not recovering

*Smooches*

4:25 am

So... it's 4:25 am and I'm wide awake. I've been in the bed since 12:30 trying to sleep. At this point I feel like it's futile to try to get some sleep. I'm just going to be cranky in the morning. So instead I lay here blogging from my phone due to these millions of thoughts running around creating chaos in my head. They stretch over many topics from one end of the spectrum to another. See my issue is I'm a planner, a thinker and a researcher. I'm a walking, talking oxymoron. A procrastinational planner??? I don't even understand how that can work. But hey I'm working on it.

So... I'm officially back on my job search (ugh) after helping Joi with the arrangements for AJ. But I'm having a conflict with the type of employment to seek. I need flexibility so I can attend school; while making enough to pay for school, rent, car and pay off debt. Sounds nearly impossible. But if I wait 10 months to start school take a passion of mine, develop it and gain a suitable income it's possible. I'm excited but also weary. I don't want to wait any longer, but if I do I will be able to ensure I complete my degree without any unnecessary distractions. So I'm going to enroll into The Paul Mitchell Cosmotology School.

Hair has always been a passion of mine since I was little. Of course it started with my own hair. I remember the smell in my Grandma's kitchen of hot combs, imperial pressing grease and hair (oh and a little skin here and there); every Sunday, Holiday, Graduation, etc. Loved my ribbons and barrettes in my holiday cookie tin. Lol. I remember my friends from the block and I comparing our tins lol and Spring had a Caboodle. I begged my mom for one over and over because I wanted the best hair accessory collection ever. That's when I fell in love with hair. I remember asking my Grandma how to frenchbraid when I was like 8. 'You know how to do single braids?' *with chest poked out* 'yes Grandma Mary I taught myself' 'well it's the same, you go over and under,but when you go under grab a little hair each time'. It never seemed to work on Barbie's small ass head. Plus my Cabbage Patch doll was rocking a Nikki original bob lol... No braiding there. So I eventually gave up but her words never left me. At 12 I recalledg Mary Montgomery's words, taught myself to braid and became a beast. By then I was relaxing my hair, my moms and straightening mine with a curling iron lol. Oh and let's not forget the microwave ponytails. Around 15 I became a little hood star. All the boys from the block wanted their hair braided. $10 a head lol... *sigh* memories.

Naturally weaving, color and cutting followed. I watch videos all the time to build technique. So why not get paid for it. These Kitchen Beautician prices aren't cutting it. I believe Paul Mitchell offers a side of hair I haven't explored much. I WANT to learn and perfect more skills on top of the knowledge I already hold. Like I said I'm a researcher and I'm running out of resources lol. With my thirst for knowledge and annoying perfectionism I will excel, build loyal clientele and make a great salary. All while having the flexibility I need to complete my degree

Damn it feels good to have a well defined and lit path. God is shining on it he has shown me where to travel. I love him for that and glad I'm finally listening.

Well it's 5:31 am. I'm signing off. *Muah*

Pondering

I'm thinking of changing the title of my blog to something else a little lighter. A little more free spirited, something that truly reflects me. I am a woman on a journey to improve and complete myself but that's only one side of me. I feel like the title gives me boundaries and I'm not able to fly and explore outside of that. So I'll let you know what it'll be! *MUAH*

Also I'm thinking of moving AWAY from blogger too many issues with embedding content. If you would like please recommend some options to deal with this issue.

Songs I love

Cars, nothing i drive can drive you out of this state of mind,

For such an ugly picture and,

Money, nothing i buy can buy more time for your ears to tell your heart to listen to it,

Diamonds, a girls best friend is what they say but believe me with the right allegience shorty you gonna shine anyways

I market it so good

They can't wait to try me

I work it so good

Man, these nig**s tryna buy me

A girl outta college

Sorry ladies but there ain't

Nothing like a smart bitch

Nashville Flood May 1-3, 2010

Everyone questioned how did a city no where near water flood??? We have many lakes, rivers, and streams. Also the landscape of Middle Tennessee is made up of hills and valleys, add gravity and 15+ inches of water in 2 days to the equation; a lot of water in a short time period water will move to the lowest point and gather thus causing floods. Most rivers and lakes already sit at the lowest point therefore they will rise due to the accumulation of rain.

This is the rain wall moving across Middle Tennessee on May 2 the SECOND day of raining.

We were ignored by the media. How do I know this???? Because my family in other cities didn't even know. They didn't know to be alarmed. Didn't know to call and check on us. But we survived no blame on anyone. We will and have moved on. But just to give you and idea of what happened here's some pictures

BEFORE

AFTER

Now this is only a shot of the skyline but Middle Tennessee was impacted as a whole. Nashville, Franklin, Bellevue, Antioch, Dickson, Belle Meade and the list goes on. I am proud of the recovery efforts that has been made by us that were affected and the outside agencies that came to our aid. It will take a while before we have a since of ''normalcy". We still need to help each other rebuild our great city. Nashville is my second home and I love it even though I complain.

BRILEY PARKWAY

Want to help???

---------->Click Here<----------

Hands on Nashville provides dates, times and locations that different organizations will be here to lend a helping hand. Anything helps because everything is appreciated!!!

Chinese Food

So I ordered Chinese food last night (curry chicken, MY FAV!) and of course the proverbial fortune cookie came with my meal. Now usually I don't pay attention to the message inside, I just eat the cookie #fatgirlstatus. BUT! For some ODD reason I did last night. The message was so in tune with the path that I am on right now. Let me tell you what it read: 'The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance'. "Well SHUT the front door" OMG if that isn't the best fortune EVER! I've always believed good and evil is an internal conflict. I, as many do I'm sure, battle with this on a daily basis. I thirst for knowledge and despise stupidity. So of naturally it's my #1 pet peeve, and OF COURSE I refuse to be unknowledgable. It's a monster/disease that I do not need added to my list of many.

While walking on the path for knowledge, I'm always looking for ways to improve myself. Which led to my new plan for school, and a blow to my procrastination issue. To ensure money is saved I will attend a community college up until my last year and then transfer to a University to complete my last year and graduate. Why waste the additional money, I can use the money towards the down payment for my house. Smart right! Well, I wasn't always thinking this way; Because of my ignorance in how loans work I (me myself and I) thwarted opportunities for further education because I was scared to accrue any additional debt. In fighting evil my little "monster" (which was accomplished by researching!!) I found the loop holes necessary to cure my fears.

I am on a great path right now, so I'm not going to let this "monster" bother me anymore. Improving my knowledge base will always be my priority from here on out. I can't worry about the stones on my path, I have to let them pass. I will not stress over problems that can be solved, it's so unnecessary. I'm letting go and letting God, because I am on my Journey to Woman.

Well Night guys.
'Everyday I'm hustling' lol.
Gotta do hair in the morning. :(

Towards the Light by Lenore Horowitz

Towards the Light

By moonlight,
or starlight,
or in the sun's bright rays,
I journey,
guiding my way
by keeping
to the light
as best I can.
Sometimes all seems dark,
then I remember
how the poppy turns its head,
follows the sun's passage across the sky,
then rests in night's cool shadows,
bowing in thanks
to whatever power
makes the stalk
stand straight and strong,
drawing deep from its roots
a wine dark love.
In moonlight,
the garden glows,
silvering the poppies.
And even by starlight
you can tell
shades of darkness
if you try.
So do not lose heart
when vision dims.
Journey forth
as best you can-
bloom when you are able,
rest when you must,
keep faith,
keep always
towards the light.

This is the full version of the poem from my title image. Thought I would share these inspirational words.

My First Post Yay!

I'm starting off 2010 with the wrong foot. I'm unemployed, in a relationship that is at it's plateau and stressing about going back to school. I'm 26. In my mind my life should be in order; Graduated from school with a BA in science, working on my masters, in a healthy relationship or married, having children, & closing on my first house. But I am at the opposite end of that spectrum. Now I will have to say the pressure & disappointment I feel is mostly from myself ... AND of course my family (whom I love so dearly) has something to do with that. BUT my #1 enemy is PROCRASTINATION!!!

I have battled with this disease (yes I feel it is a disease) since I graduated from High School. I always wonder why I wanted to take that break so between H.S. and College, I never really understood why I did it. I do feel that if I stayed on that path I would be at a very different place right now. BUT I'm not and all I can do is change the direction of my journey by placing my foot on the right path. So with that being said I will not let my last step determine my next, I will only let it guide me. So this fall I will return to school to complete my Bachelors in Architectural Engineering because I would be a fool not to use the gifts that God has given me by letting them become raisins in the sun. I am destined for better and it is I that is in my way stumbling as I walk. Also going to school is important because the experience allows me to grow as a person. I grow with knowledge, I actually thirst for it as a cool drink of water on a hot sunny day. I am parched, weary, dazed and confused, The body NEEDS water and this is how I know I need to go back to school. It's essential; the first step on my path in the Journey to Woman.

With my education comes opportunities such as: like-minded acquaintances/friends, networking, contacts, internships, etc. etc. Wonderful stepping stones for my career as an Engineer. One of the excuses I made in my mind to feed my monster (procrastination is his name) is 'I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life.' 'What would I enjoy?' 'What would I love?' 'What could I take to the next level and create my own business or empire???' You know where I found the answer ??? LOL ... WAL-MART of all places!?!?!? I worked for that wonderful company *insert sarcasm here* for 3 years off and on; And it wasn't until the last year that I was blessed with the opportunity of doing a remodel for them. I have never enjoyed or looked forward to going to work before. I was excited, hungry even, for the challenge, to see something change, to take something old and make it beautiful again, to look at that little picture and translate it physically. Oh and the best part was calculating the scale ratios. This is when I knew I found what my major would be and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. So why didn't I start school 2 years ago???? I can't even give the answer to that question. All I can do is chalk it up to PROCRASTINATION & LAZINESS!

Those monsters are deferring my dream, covering my path. I am my own worst enemy and I know realize that now. So I will pray for these obstacles to be removed and I will continue on my new path, my Journey to Woman

It's 4am & I'm sleepy I will talk about relationships tomorrow.

Night!