My First Post Yay!

I'm starting off 2010 with the wrong foot. I'm unemployed, in a relationship that is at it's plateau and stressing about going back to school. I'm 26. In my mind my life should be in order; Graduated from school with a BA in science, working on my masters, in a healthy relationship or married, having children, & closing on my first house. But I am at the opposite end of that spectrum. Now I will have to say the pressure & disappointment I feel is mostly from myself ... AND of course my family (whom I love so dearly) has something to do with that. BUT my #1 enemy is PROCRASTINATION!!!

I have battled with this disease (yes I feel it is a disease) since I graduated from High School. I always wonder why I wanted to take that break so between H.S. and College, I never really understood why I did it. I do feel that if I stayed on that path I would be at a very different place right now. BUT I'm not and all I can do is change the direction of my journey by placing my foot on the right path. So with that being said I will not let my last step determine my next, I will only let it guide me. So this fall I will return to school to complete my Bachelors in Architectural Engineering because I would be a fool not to use the gifts that God has given me by letting them become raisins in the sun. I am destined for better and it is I that is in my way stumbling as I walk. Also going to school is important because the experience allows me to grow as a person. I grow with knowledge, I actually thirst for it as a cool drink of water on a hot sunny day. I am parched, weary, dazed and confused, The body NEEDS water and this is how I know I need to go back to school. It's essential; the first step on my path in the Journey to Woman.

With my education comes opportunities such as: like-minded acquaintances/friends, networking, contacts, internships, etc. etc. Wonderful stepping stones for my career as an Engineer. One of the excuses I made in my mind to feed my monster (procrastination is his name) is 'I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life.' 'What would I enjoy?' 'What would I love?' 'What could I take to the next level and create my own business or empire???' You know where I found the answer ??? LOL ... WAL-MART of all places!?!?!? I worked for that wonderful company *insert sarcasm here* for 3 years off and on; And it wasn't until the last year that I was blessed with the opportunity of doing a remodel for them. I have never enjoyed or looked forward to going to work before. I was excited, hungry even, for the challenge, to see something change, to take something old and make it beautiful again, to look at that little picture and translate it physically. Oh and the best part was calculating the scale ratios. This is when I knew I found what my major would be and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. So why didn't I start school 2 years ago???? I can't even give the answer to that question. All I can do is chalk it up to PROCRASTINATION & LAZINESS!

Those monsters are deferring my dream, covering my path. I am my own worst enemy and I know realize that now. So I will pray for these obstacles to be removed and I will continue on my new path, my Journey to Woman

It's 4am & I'm sleepy I will talk about relationships tomorrow.

Night!