Chinese Food

So I ordered Chinese food last night (curry chicken, MY FAV!) and of course the proverbial fortune cookie came with my meal. Now usually I don't pay attention to the message inside, I just eat the cookie #fatgirlstatus. BUT! For some ODD reason I did last night. The message was so in tune with the path that I am on right now. Let me tell you what it read: 'The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance'. "Well SHUT the front door" OMG if that isn't the best fortune EVER! I've always believed good and evil is an internal conflict. I, as many do I'm sure, battle with this on a daily basis. I thirst for knowledge and despise stupidity. So of naturally it's my #1 pet peeve, and OF COURSE I refuse to be unknowledgable. It's a monster/disease that I do not need added to my list of many.

While walking on the path for knowledge, I'm always looking for ways to improve myself. Which led to my new plan for school, and a blow to my procrastination issue. To ensure money is saved I will attend a community college up until my last year and then transfer to a University to complete my last year and graduate. Why waste the additional money, I can use the money towards the down payment for my house. Smart right! Well, I wasn't always thinking this way; Because of my ignorance in how loans work I (me myself and I) thwarted opportunities for further education because I was scared to accrue any additional debt. In fighting evil my little "monster" (which was accomplished by researching!!) I found the loop holes necessary to cure my fears.

I am on a great path right now, so I'm not going to let this "monster" bother me anymore. Improving my knowledge base will always be my priority from here on out. I can't worry about the stones on my path, I have to let them pass. I will not stress over problems that can be solved, it's so unnecessary. I'm letting go and letting God, because I am on my Journey to Woman.

Well Night guys.
'Everyday I'm hustling' lol.
Gotta do hair in the morning. :(

Towards the Light by Lenore Horowitz

Towards the Light

By moonlight,
or starlight,
or in the sun's bright rays,
I journey,
guiding my way
by keeping
to the light
as best I can.
Sometimes all seems dark,
then I remember
how the poppy turns its head,
follows the sun's passage across the sky,
then rests in night's cool shadows,
bowing in thanks
to whatever power
makes the stalk
stand straight and strong,
drawing deep from its roots
a wine dark love.
In moonlight,
the garden glows,
silvering the poppies.
And even by starlight
you can tell
shades of darkness
if you try.
So do not lose heart
when vision dims.
Journey forth
as best you can-
bloom when you are able,
rest when you must,
keep faith,
keep always
towards the light.

This is the full version of the poem from my title image. Thought I would share these inspirational words.

My First Post Yay!

I'm starting off 2010 with the wrong foot. I'm unemployed, in a relationship that is at it's plateau and stressing about going back to school. I'm 26. In my mind my life should be in order; Graduated from school with a BA in science, working on my masters, in a healthy relationship or married, having children, & closing on my first house. But I am at the opposite end of that spectrum. Now I will have to say the pressure & disappointment I feel is mostly from myself ... AND of course my family (whom I love so dearly) has something to do with that. BUT my #1 enemy is PROCRASTINATION!!!

I have battled with this disease (yes I feel it is a disease) since I graduated from High School. I always wonder why I wanted to take that break so between H.S. and College, I never really understood why I did it. I do feel that if I stayed on that path I would be at a very different place right now. BUT I'm not and all I can do is change the direction of my journey by placing my foot on the right path. So with that being said I will not let my last step determine my next, I will only let it guide me. So this fall I will return to school to complete my Bachelors in Architectural Engineering because I would be a fool not to use the gifts that God has given me by letting them become raisins in the sun. I am destined for better and it is I that is in my way stumbling as I walk. Also going to school is important because the experience allows me to grow as a person. I grow with knowledge, I actually thirst for it as a cool drink of water on a hot sunny day. I am parched, weary, dazed and confused, The body NEEDS water and this is how I know I need to go back to school. It's essential; the first step on my path in the Journey to Woman.

With my education comes opportunities such as: like-minded acquaintances/friends, networking, contacts, internships, etc. etc. Wonderful stepping stones for my career as an Engineer. One of the excuses I made in my mind to feed my monster (procrastination is his name) is 'I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life.' 'What would I enjoy?' 'What would I love?' 'What could I take to the next level and create my own business or empire???' You know where I found the answer ??? LOL ... WAL-MART of all places!?!?!? I worked for that wonderful company *insert sarcasm here* for 3 years off and on; And it wasn't until the last year that I was blessed with the opportunity of doing a remodel for them. I have never enjoyed or looked forward to going to work before. I was excited, hungry even, for the challenge, to see something change, to take something old and make it beautiful again, to look at that little picture and translate it physically. Oh and the best part was calculating the scale ratios. This is when I knew I found what my major would be and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. So why didn't I start school 2 years ago???? I can't even give the answer to that question. All I can do is chalk it up to PROCRASTINATION & LAZINESS!

Those monsters are deferring my dream, covering my path. I am my own worst enemy and I know realize that now. So I will pray for these obstacles to be removed and I will continue on my new path, my Journey to Woman

It's 4am & I'm sleepy I will talk about relationships tomorrow.

Night!